Illegally hanging Christmas lights since 2009
Nobody really likes Walmart, right? It’s not like we’re all thinking, if I could go anywhere in the world, I would choose Walmart. Shoot, I’d live there if I could.
Lately, thanks to my Oklahoma ‘friends,’ I’ve come to better understand the Walmart kind. If you’re not sure what I mean by that, check this out.
Warning: PG-13 rating: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghrDIQ-K8mg
Anyway, I am no longer thrilled to walk through those doors every other week as I fill my fridge with Sunny D (the best orange juice out there — but that’s for another post entirely). I rushed through the grocery shopping charade and marched up to the shortest checkout line in record time. That’s when this trip got interesting.
The two pre-teens in front of me in line were buying stuffed animals. Perhaps its the new pre-teen trend, I don’t know. I’ve never been into stuffed animals. Couldn’t tell you. But they were digging into their wallets, pulling out coins and cracking open the o’l piggy bank (okay, slight exaggerations, but you get the idea). The second of the two hands over a two dollar bill to the cashier. I think that was the first time my jaw dropped open. For real?!
After several frustratingly long minutes of waiting, they finally finished.
I looked at the cashier at this point. Wilma. Her name was Wilma. Bright pink lipstick. Hair slicked back. Nose dripping.
Her nose was dripping. As in liquid hanging from her nose. Dripping.
I couldn’t look away.
But, shoot, I was nervous about my groceries.
8:00 pm - Here we go I’m ready for this game #GoState #BeatOSU
8:02 pm - Oh right, all this pre-game stuff, so it won’t actually start until 8:30.
8:04 pm - Apparently Iron Man is playing. #WhatIsWithTheseFoxPromos?
8:15 pm - FOX, you chose NOW to have technical difficulties? #AwBalls
8:16 pm - It’s a blackout. #PerfectTiming
8:18 pm - Actual game time. State starts the drive.
8:22 pm - Ok boys, the ball needs to move forward. #TheStrugglesOfOffense
8:33 pm - H - “Gotta go for the kick.” Brother - “Cake? There’s cake? Where?”
8:34 pm - MSU 3-0
8:40 pm - OSU plays offense for a millisecond. #Three&Out
8:56 pm - YESSSSSSSSS!!! YESSSSS! #SackSackSack
8:57 pm - Dang OSU, penalties galore.
9:02 pm - *Screams* First drive… TOUCHDOWN #MSU
9:03 pm - MSU 10-0
9:13 pm - Hey Braxton Miller, I think you’re supposed to run the other way.
9:13 pm - I love this game. #DefenseWins
9:23 pm - Various camera shots on toe.
9:24 pm - Let me repeat I LOVE THIS GAME. Connor Cook with the touchdown pass! MSU 17-0
9:28 pm - Quite a run by Braxton, thankfully he got tackled by his own man.
9:30 pm - 17-7 #AwBalls #ThereGoesTheShutout
9:42 pm - Big 4th down, 2:30 left in the half, let’s do something with it. (Something good please)
9:45 pm - That was not something good… time to punt.
9:46 pm “The judges may change but the popularity never wavers.” -Commentators discussing American Idol #UhhhDebatable
9:50 pm - Four seconds of stress.
9:52 pm - 17-10 #Hrumph
10:12 pm - Girls rule! #DrPepperHalftimeChallengeTuitionGiveawayThing
10:13 pm - She said “Go Buckeyes!” and hugged Brutus. I take it back.
10:21 pm - Please stop the running game.
10:23 pm - 17-17 :(
10:32 pm - :(
10:49 pm - So… the first quarter was a lot more fun. Let’s get back to that. 17-24 OSU #Gross
11:01 pm - Field Goal MSU. 20-24
11:13 pm - Andrew nearly falls asleep until I start yelling “RUN RUN RUN!”
11:18 pm - Wide open. Touchdown #MSU 27-24
11:19 pm - “You know what would be worse than having Jackie be an OSU fan? My grandchild being an OSU fan.” #MomQuote
11:20 pm - Seriously though Jackie, why are you an Ohio State fan?
11:26 pm - Wave the arms. Play incomplete. MSU ball.
11:34 pm - Screamed at Andrew to wake him up. He didn’t appreciate it. #ItsLate
11:40 pm - Biggest stop of the game. #1 Defense in the Nation
11:46 pm - Ok we’re back to “I LOVE THIS GAME!” MSU 34-24
11:51 pm - Watching the clock. #TickTock
11:53 pm - INCOMPLETE! MSU possession. Dantonio’s so happy :) :) :)
12:00 am - Defense wins championships!!! Smelling roses.
12:01 am - Final: MSU 34 - OSU 24
The views and opinions expressed in the previous blog post are those of the heartless author and do not necessarily reflect the official positions of the other writers of the Tib 20 blog.
I admit I have been curious about Thought #10. But hey, if you’ve never been outside before, what’s the point of wearing (or even owning) shoes?
We are in the third golden age of Disney animation. Let’s revel in its amazingness.
One more thing, thank you Disney for casting Zachary Levi as Flynn Ryder/Eugene Fitzherbert. Chuck can sing!
I’m not entirely sure why I did it. Maybe it’s because I needed something playing in the background while I did my school stuff. Maybe there was nothing else on. And maybe I figured, hey, if it’s a crappy movie, I’ll actually get work done.
Nevertheless, I found myself watching Tangled at 1 p.m. on a cold Saturday afternoon.
Now before my friends get all proud or excited or whatever, let me first illustrate the way in which I watch an animated movie. I have a feeling it’ll be a little different than your blissful enjoyment.
Thought 1: That o’l witch must be pretty clumsy to knock over that bushel hiding the secret, glowing flower. Shoot, that little incident just destroyed her life. Sucks for her.
Thought 2: The baby was sleeping in their room, and they didn’t even hear the hag come in? Geez, parents of the year award, right there.
Thought 3: Dang it, I forgot, the animals don’t talk in this movie. The chameleon just gestures and responds with facial expressions. Well, at least Disney’s shooting for a realistic movie this time!
Thought 4: I must say, I’m impressed at the effort to avoid any use of guns in this movie. Instead, a cooking pan is the weapon of choice. Classy.
Thought 5: Horses are portrayed very similarly to dogs in this film. That’s giving kids an unrealistic picture of how dangerous horses can actually be. Get on that, Disney!
Thought 6: Well, I have to hand it to you, at least we’re promoting the name Eugene in this movie. I’m not sure how often a lead role in Disney movies is named Eugene. Excellent.
Thought 7: Remember that one time that Ryder and Max(imus) fell off that cliff to their eventual death. And we’re all thinking, well, they’ll land in water and be fine. And then they just magically land on the grass as if it were pillow-soft. I know it’s a movie, but shoot. Come on.
Thought 8: As far as my memory is concerned (and hey, I’m no expert on Disney), this is the first time that the villain of the movie actually allowed the heroine a choice in her journey of self-discovery. Rewatch the movie if you need to — some antagonist. Lame!
Thought 9: That part at the end. Where the king and queen just assume that the short-haired brunette who walked into their palace must be their long-lost daughter. Because who else would attempt to portray a princess in an effort to live a life of royalty? Trust issues. No wonder you lost your daughter in the first place!
Thought 10: Does it bother anyone else that Rapunzel is barefoot for the entirety of the movie? Is that relevant? Significant? Show me the symbolism, people!
Thought 11: I must say, though, my absolute favorite part of the movie unfolds at the end. When her hair has been chopped off — without her consent, but that’s another discussion entirely — and she is mourning the loss of her new, 24 hour long, love, Eugene a.k.a. Ryder. She holds his dead body in her arms far longer than I think necessary or hygienic before a single tear slips out of her right eye and lands on his face. And somehow, the magic of her hair travels to her tears and the man is healed; raised from the dead. All to support the idea of happily-ever-after. Because heaven forbid a character die in a Disney movie.
And yet, the dramatics continue. Because from his chest spring flowers; not real flowers, keep up. These are flowers made of light. And they fill the entire room, rupturing from his stomach. And it is peaceful and romantic and happy and blah blah blah.
Can you tell I’m an animation fan? Give me an action thriller any day of the week.
I will admit, some of the comedic relief evident in the film verged on sarcasm from Ryder. That I dig. At least Prince Charming has a few lines up his sleeve, even if he can’t fight worth a lick.
Remember when we had to take finals? Seems like only yesterday. Since I have gobs of exam experience, I thought I’d compile a short list of advice for all you youngins still in college.
How to Survive Finals Week
1) Eat. Your brain needs fuel.
2) Dance. Preferably to Christmas music.
3) Find new ways to study. Switch up your studying location, work with another person from your class, or try practicing your sign language in front of the closet.
4) Celebrate the little things. You finished a paragraph in your final paper? Pat yourself on the back.
5) Don’t forget to smile. It’ll be over eventually.
Well my friends it’s official. Next week will be my first week, since I started, working 8 to 5 all week. Now you may say so? What’s so special about that. Well let me tell you. I started beginning of September. Every week since then, I’ve worked Monday through Thursday 8 to 5 and Friday 730 to 430. Not much difference right? Wrong. Now I get to sleep for another half an hour and man do I love to sleep. :D so there was a reason for celebration today and there’s also the fact that today is Wednesday. Almost done with the week. :)
This is what happens when I spontaneously decide to change the design of the blog at 11:30 PM. It may look completely different in 24 hours.
Flannel sheets could come with a warning label: MAY CAUSE ETERNAL SLEEP.
If I were a Disney princess I wouldn’t need a poisonous apple or a finger prick, just put flannel sheets on my bed.
Speaking of Disney princesses, Frozen was spectacular. I remember seeing the teaser trailer and being like, “This looks stupid.” But then I saw the extended trailer and was like, “This reminds me of the amazingness of Tangled, I must see it today.” And that’s sort of what happened. It was a mommy-daughter date with a theater full of seven/eight/nine year olds. Tip: sit through all the credits if you’re cool.
Initially I thought Olaf would annoy the crap out of me. But I love Olaf and warm hugs.
You know you’ve listened to the Frozen soundtrack an unhealthy amount of times when you wake up in the morning with the line “Let it go, let it go!” stuck in your head. Other possibilities include: “Do you want to build a snowman?” or “For the first time in forever…”
For the first time in forever I’m rooting for Michigan in basketball. Mostly because it’s the Big Ten – ACC Challenge and I can’t imagine rooting Duke. So this is strictly for the sake of boosting the conference’s strength, but I wouldn’t be that upset if Michigan lost. I watched that Indiana vs. Syracuse game too… ugly.
Just like the Hoosiers couldn’t match up with the Orange in the second half (Syracuse, I applaud you for your mascot choice), I can’t match up with my mom when it comes to eating popcorn. She can eat three bowls before I can get through one. I don’t know how she does it, but she can inhale that stuff. Me: “But I wanted seconds.” Mom: “Pop another bag.”
I hope you appreciated my attempts to transition smoothly between topics. I put a lot of thought into it.
I ate deer jerky today.
Not sure how it all happened, actually. One of my fellow teachers offered me some. Turns out she’d hunted that deer. Dude.
Part of me was disgusted, the other part curious.
Couldn’t place the taste, exactly, but it was strange.
Would I eat it again? Not a chance.
I’d been waiting for this weekend for a long, long time. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about the turkey dinner, the football spamming our tv, or even the black Friday shopping. I just wanted to see my family.
And shoot, we had some fun.
Here are some highlights from a not-so-typical Oklahoma Thanksgiving weekend:
— waking up at 4 a.m. to let the fam into the apartment
— taking a 3 hour nap immediately after
— dining at that sketch little motel; surprisingly, the food wasn’t too shabby
— waltzing into the cowboy church for a tour, despite the fact that we weren’t exactly supposed to be in there
— drugging up on cough medicine for the duration of the weekend
— endless comments from brothers about brown grass and tumbleweeds
— movie nights despite the t.v./playstation/controller malfunctions
— exploring every inch of my school
— Doris Day
— black Friday shopping for TVs
— several trips to Braum’s: milkshakes and suggested slogans
(Braum’s: Freshly squeezed since 1603; Milk straight out the cow’s udders; If you’re milking a cow, there’s no sense in milking it twice)
— two hours of hide n’ seek in the local Walmart
This list doesn’t even begin to describe the strangeness of my family and the quality of the memories we made this weekend.
Dang it. Goodbyes are hard.
No matter what holiday it is, my family always manages to make it interesting. This time my family decided to start a new tradition, playing the game spoons. We sat with 9 people around the table and it quickly turned it a very competitive game. I made it to the final 4 and then to the final 2. I lost that last round but it was still super fun. I’m hoping that it becomes a new tradition for my family.
Not a typical word used to describe Monday. I suppose it’s not a typical word in general, but today was fan-freakin-tastic.
Wins of the Day
The city turned into a winter wonderland. Thankfully my desk is by a massive window and I could witness it all. I was giddy.
I got a piece of leftover cake. With chocolate mousse filling.
My friend Ana is in town from New Mexico! We met up for coffee after I worked, then went to dinner at On the Border with my friend Katie. High school reunion.
Flubs of the Day
I almost collided with a girl on the sidewalk because I was walking with my head down. And then I met up with the same girl at a different intersection. “Um… hello again.”
I printed out directions to my friend Ana’s house and left them on my desk. So I winged it (wung it?) and successfully found her house (which should be in the “win” section). But I did drive over a curb. Blame it on the snowy conditions.
When driving to get coffee, I confessed to Ana I didn’t know where I was… on a road that I drove everyday to high school.
I asked if there was snow in the Snow Mint Mocha at Biggby.